RE: Ethical dilemma or nosey parker
Married couples are teams. Supposedly. Each contributes to the marriage. So one has read up on apnea treatments, xPAP adjustments and knows how to read sleepyhead. The other does his own things, like (stereotyping here) swapping the winter tires, checking the furnace, mowing the lawn, etc. My husb and I bring different perspectives to solving a problem. But if one of us is not interested in looking at the problem, the other will work on it regardless.
So take the card, make a second profile in Sleepyhead, and see what his apnea is doing and how things are going. Then you can make helpful suggestions like: "You were leaking a lot between 2 and 4 am dear. Need a strap adjustment?" Or "Happy Birthday, I got you a P-10!" Or, "Wow, you snored even through your mask last night. And the past 15 as well. Let's call the doc for a check on that."
RE: Ethical dilemma or nosey parker
trailrider was my take also with the proviso if he is malignant-stubborn don't do it.
If he is not malignant-stubborn when presented with fait accompli hopefully he will accept with grace. If OP has a history of nagging all bets are off.
I think the root of this is based in what we are.
Women (as a group) see this as being helpful and nurturing and do not understand a man's reluctance.
Men (as a group) see this as meddling and mothering and bossing and rebel - even if you pin them down and they admit wife is correct. 
I use my PAP machine nightly and I feel great!
Updated: Philips Respironics System One (60 Series)
RemStar BiPAP Auto with Bi-FlexModel 760P -
Rise Time x3 Fixed Bi-Level EPAP 9.0 IPAP 11.5 (cmH2O)
06-06-2015, 01:52 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-06-2015, 01:52 PM by retired_guy.)
RE: Ethical dilemma or nosey parker
It really doesn't have all that much to do with being a boy or a girl. Some women are better at "being helpful/meddling, nurturing/bossing" than others. And that's pretty much true for guys as well. So you take two people, of same or opposite sex, and put them together. Each couple and each person in the coupling work out the dynamics that will constitute this particular dance for their relationship.
Sometimes it's easy.
Sometimes not.
In my case it's very simple. I have the complete freedom to do whatever I want to do whenever I want to do it to whomever that might be. Unless of course Mrs. R_G gives me "the look." Then of course I have the freedom to change my mind.
RE: Ethical dilemma or nosey parker
Reminds me, I need to go apologize to DH. He agreed to something I wanted to do, it didn't work out, and it took four days of much effort to fix. Where do they stock humble pie in the grocery store?
RE: Ethical dilemma or nosey parker
(06-06-2015, 08:57 PM)trailrider Wrote: Reminds me, I need to go apologize to DH. He agreed to something I wanted to do, it didn't work out, and it took four days of much effort to fix. Where do they stock humble pie in the grocery store?
Asked him to reprogram your cellphone did ya? Yep, been there, done that.
06-06-2015, 09:37 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-06-2015, 09:39 PM by PANCH0.)
RE: Ethical dilemma or nosey parker
Forgive me, but I'm not sure what a "DH is, but if you are partners... You have a right. Just ask my wife;-) . Seriously, I think she saved my butt. I'm pretty stubborn.
RE: Ethical dilemma or nosey parker
(06-05-2015, 04:55 PM)Mark Douglas Wrote: Sorry for hijack but this is not true. I am being medicated against my will and so are a lot of other people on a public water system.
If you don't like the public water supply, buy bottled water or move to where the water supply is more to your liking. Or maybe buy yourself a home water still.
I might prefer to drink all natural mountain spring water instead of the filtered and chlorinated lake water my local municipal water system supplies. I don't expect my local municipal water provider to switch the water supply over to that just because of my opinion.
Get the free OSCAR CPAP software here.
Useful links.
Click here for information on the main alternative to CPAP.
If it's midnight and a DME tells you it's dark outside, go and check it yourself.
RE: Ethical dilemma or nosey parker
Sorry but you are 180 out of phase.
People who want a medication are free to purchase same.
Your right to swing your arms stops at the end of my nose.
I use my PAP machine nightly and I feel great!
Updated: Philips Respironics System One (60 Series)
RemStar BiPAP Auto with Bi-FlexModel 760P -
Rise Time x3 Fixed Bi-Level EPAP 9.0 IPAP 11.5 (cmH2O)
06-07-2015, 02:10 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-07-2015, 02:11 PM by sansnap.)
RE: Ethical dilemma or nosey parker
(06-06-2015, 09:37 PM)PANCH0 Wrote: Forgive me, but I'm not sure what a "DH is, but if you are partners... You have a right. Just ask my wife;-) . Seriously, I think she saved my butt. I'm pretty stubborn.
DH = Dear/ Darling Husband
DW = Dear/darling Wife
Internet shorthand
At any rate, yes, he is stubborn, but he is also a busy guy and I think views having to visit his doc as a major distraction and hassle. I get that...
Regarding having a right to meddle - well maybe. A right to be concerned and express that concern? Yes, definitely. But a right to pull his card and read it on the sly? ermm...
It's a privacy thing and probably a trust violation. I don't look through his wallet uninvited or read his e-mail and I assume that he extends me the same courtesy. Respecting boundaries is a basic tenet in our relationship. Still there may be a time when it's reasonable to take this action... I'm just not sure, this is it. Some of the suggestions posted here have been helpful - good food for thought.
RE: Ethical dilemma or nosey parker
Hi smokey57, welcome to Apnea Board.
The Advisory Member group provides advice and suggestions to Apnea Board administrators and staff on matters concerning Apnea Board operation and administrative policies. Membership in the Advisory Member group should not be understood as in any way implying medical expertise or qualification for advising Sleep Apnea patients concerning their treatment.
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