Often tired, too tired for sex, sleep lots and "puff" in my sleep. Help!

[woozie38]

My problem is that since I was a teenager I have always wanted to sleep for at least 8-10 hours a night and given the chance I can easily sleep up to 12-14. It goes without saying that this has caused me lots of problems in my personal life/relationships and work. When I'm awake I sometimes find I'm having to drink 4-5 cups of coffee a day to feel alert and to concentrate properly.

My sleep is all over the place and because some days I sleep longer than others (because I don't have to get up for work), I'm finding that I then often go to bed late at maybe 2-3am in the morning. This of course makes the situation worse when I then have to get up in the morning and I often don't wake up until 11am-midday time. I can't remember the last time I went to bed before midnight!

When I wake up I always feel very tired and lethargic and struggle to get up and get on with things. My concentration level is terrible and it is normal for me to "drift" all day and get nothing constructive done when I have tons of urgent things that need doing.

It goes without saying that I'm *always* tired when a partner wants to have sex and I have almost always made the excuse that I'm dog tired and need sleep. A true reason, but not one that has got much sympathy. I have now had 3-4 relationships where sleep/tiredness problems have ended them, the latest being a month ago.
My sleep pattern? Well according to several partners, my head hits the pillow and within seconds I'm fast asleep. I'm like this every night with no exceptions. I usually sleep on my side (no preference which side) and apparently I breathe in through my nose but always breathe out and "puff" through my mouth. My last ex said she thought that was unusual as she'd never known anyone breathe like that when they were asleep! I also *never* remember dreaming which to me seems odd.
As I said before, my last relationship with a partner ended a month ago because I was shattered and we had a massive row and this week I had a big argument with my boss at work which has seriously jeopardized my position. He was being a d**k but I was tired and I could and should have handled the situation more calmly than I did.

Firstly let me say, most everything said here is golden good advice. See your GP & ask for a referral to a sleep clinic for a "Sleep Study". That's the first step. The UK is the leader in the study of sleep disorders, so you should be well diagnosed and treated. Depression is the doctors' "go to" diagnosis when they don't know what wrong with you. Pills are an easy solution and gets you out of his surgery in the prescribed 10mins. Doesn't help you much. If you're not already depressed you soon will be, once you begin taking medication.
Grumpiness is a classic symptom of sleep disorder & the most common sleep disorder is sleep apnoea. The sad thing about grumpiness is that the sufferer rarely knows he/she is grumpy. Grumpy people are picky and hard to please. They don't realise they are continually finding fault & picking on those around them. Thus many relationships end in a scrap of some kind, often the person never realising what or who the problem is.
Although treatment will help, you need to take a hand in improving your life. I recommend getting a "real" job and working 8:00am to 4:00pm (or similar) hours, 5 days each week. Then getting to bed at a reasonable hour every night and sleeping a reasonable time. in other words get some regulation into your life. Daytime somnolence is hard to cure so it comes down to good management in the end. Take up some sport and get some exercise. Understanding your disability using good management and developing good sleep habits is the key. I had to, & so can you! Oh, and stay off system drivers like coffee, Coke, so called sports drinks & the like. All contain lots of caffeine and caffeine among other things, is a poison with known side effects.

[vj89]

My answer is short but effective. Do yoga once in morning and once in evening for 1hour each time. It wont cure immediately but with time you will feel the diff.. Now question is which yoga - kapaalbhati, bhastrika , anulom vilom ,bahya . This will even protect you from small diseases. I use to be like you. So i registered here. It reminds me how bad is it.Do consult a yoga teacher or mail me here . [email address removed]. I will send u links on youtube to watch

It is not a good idea to post your email address on a public forum. The spam bots that troll this site will harvest it. I removed it for your protection. - Moderator.

[Galactus]

I don't know if the OP is still with us or not, but I have read many an article saying that sleep apnea is a major cause of depression amongst people who are supposedly depressed. Apparently it has something to do with the sleep deprivation of apnea and the way it effects your cognitive reasoning. You say "you are too tired for sex" not that you aren't in the mood or depressed, but that "you are too tired". I personally am never too tired, however, I have fallen asleep during, and I'm not sure which would be worse, but neither imho is based on depression, it's based on exhaustion from sleep apnea. Best advice here is get a sleep study done, if you don't have apnea no harm no foul, you'll have to look elsewhere. If you do you may find treatment will help and even cure what may or may not be depression.

And just in case we lost the OP, I want to say Peter_C I give you a great big ((((((((((((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))), I love to hear what you have to say, and I love the fact that we all need to hear that we need to persevere no matter what the situation, and no matter how bad it looks. Thanks for sharing. All the best.

[Peter_C]

I love these 'zombie' threads that keep coming back. It's sad that the OP never came back to this post as I wonder how life has changed for him? I know that rereading this thread 'today' sure gives me perspective on six months ago - so many things (for me) have changed, and I'm still keeping my head down...

I write stuff for mainly two reasons; it helps me think when I write it down, and (hopefully) it might help someone else down the road.

And I can always uses 'hugs'.

[Galactus]

Oh will you look at that, it is a zombie thread, you know so many times I just don't pay attention to the dates, I just see the thread and add my 2 cents, lol.

Nothing like a good hug it cures many ills!