Still struggling..but I'm here

[mzdawn74]

Dawn,

Your fears are understandable but it is too soon to panic. I do recall a story of a poster from another forum who struggled big time and was at alot higher pressure. To make a long story short, things greatly improved for her. If the medications aren't helping, perhaps you want to stop taking them and wait for your appointment with your psychiatrist?

Hang in there.

49er

49er,

Thank you for your words of encouragement.

Dawn

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If the medications aren't helping, perhaps you want to stop taking them...

Please note that medical advice such as this can be dangerous and not permitted on the forum.

Admin please note.

This was not taken as medical advice, just a personal opinion. No harm, no foul.

[mzdawn74]

If you're able to get outside and do even a little bit of physical activity, or just be away from the house, TV, movies, forum, it would probably help you more than anything we can recommend. You've said you have problems with depression, and cooping yourself up is a sure-fire way to instill a good funk and obsess on "issues". Go to the beach, enjoy a lunch away from home, walk in the park. Go do something, anything, forget about your issues for a while, and you might be tired enough when you get back home, to sleep. Most of all, this would be a good time for some face time with friends, even if you don't want to.

That's the best I've got, because your CPAP therapy is working great. Just let it happen.

You are right. I have worked myself into a terrible funk at this point. I like your suggestions, and will start to get out of the house and off the Internet at least once a day. I thank you for all of the advice that you have provided me.

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If you're able to get outside and do even a little bit of physical activity, or just be away from the house, TV, movies, forum, it would probably help you more than anything we can recommend. You've said you have problems with depression, and cooping yourself up is a sure-fire way to instill a good funk and obsess on "issues". Go to the beach, enjoy a lunch away from home, walk in the park. Go do something, anything, forget about your issues for a while, and you might be tired enough when you get back home, to sleep. Most of all, this would be a good time for some face time with friends, even if you don't want to.

That's the best I've got, because your CPAP therapy is working great. Just let it happen.

I agree. Physical activity will certainly make a person tired and fall asleep and hopefully stay asleep, nice, peaceful, restful sleep.

Ride a bike, walk a mile, clean, volunteer at a pet shelter or vet, volunteer at a homeless shelter (that is enough to make one appreciate what they have and forget about what they don't have).

Great advice. Thank you.

[mollete]

Giving out "advice" is not 'against the rules' on Apnea Board. Heck, if it were against the rules, 90% of the threads would have to be deleted.

Perhaps, but how many of those threads have recommendations concerning the administration of Schedule IV drugs?

Let's consider some possibilities (bypassing the low-hanging fruit, like thinking those warnings would actually do anything in a civil suit).

Reread the OP first post. Only a few hours of sleep with the aid of pharmaceuticals. If the OP has been taking these routinely, even short term, then rebound insomnia is likely, and "few hours" turn into no hours. End of the day exhaustion will follow, and sleep deprivation increases the possibility of accidents. What happens if the person falls down a flight of stairs? Or runs a red light and and hits a pedestrian?

Admittedly, the Swiss Cheese Effect would have to occur, but IMHO there's a big difference between spinning CPAP dials around and arbitrarily taking (or not taking) pharmaceuticals.

[PositiveMe123]

Giving out "advice" is not 'against the rules' on Apnea Board. Heck, if it were against the rules, 90% of the threads would have to be deleted.

Perhaps, but how many of those threads have recommendations concerning the administration of Schedule IV drugs?

Let's consider some possibilities (bypassing the low-hanging fruit, like thinking those warnings would actually do anything in a civil suit).

Reread the OP first post. Only a few hours of sleep with the aid of pharmaceuticals. If the OP has been taking these routinely, even short term, then rebound insomnia is likely, and "few hours" turn into no hours. End of the day exhaustion will follow, and sleep deprivation increases the possibility of accidents. What happens if the person falls down a flight of stairs? Or runs a red light and and hits a pedestrian?

Admittedly, the Swiss Cheese Effect would have to occur, but IMHO there's a big difference between spinning CPAP dials around and arbitrarily taking (or not taking) pharmaceuticals.

Mollette (and I believe I know you from another forum), you have taken what was said by 49 and ran away with it. Dawn already said she realizes that 49 was just suggesting things that might be helpful in her situation, and she appears to know that none of us are physicians.

It would have been the right thing to do to give SuperSleeper, the Administrator of this forum, the last word.

[Hanrahan]

If you're able to get outside and do even a little bit of physical activity, or just be away from the house, TV, movies, forum, it would probably help you more than anything we can recommend. You've said you have problems with depression, and cooping yourself up is a sure-fire way to instill a good funk and obsess on "issues". Go to the beach, enjoy a lunch away from home, walk in the park. Go do something, anything, forget about your issues for a while, and you might be tired enough when you get back home, to sleep. Most of all, this would be a good time for some face time with friends, even if you don't want to.

That's the best I've got, because your CPAP therapy is working great. Just let it happen.

Agreed. This time of year San Diego must be nice and warm. If you are near the beach, put on a bikini and a hat and forget the sunscreen, soak up the sun and get free D3.

I have similar symptoms to you except that my [non-clinical] depression prompts me to drink more than I should. I am having two booze free nights now and if I can combine that with a half decent sleep and next day water the garden, walk the dog, things DO get better.

Time in the sun will reset your body clock so the melatonin would then be superfluous. Valarian root is no panacea but is cheap calms a little.

Hang in there and best wishes from Australia.

[PositiveMe123]

This time of year San Diego must be nice and warm. If you are near the beach, put on a bikini and a hat and forget the sunscreen, soak up the sun and get free D3.

Excellent suggestion.... but sunscreen is a big must! What the sun can do, especially as you get older, isn't pretty. So, have a wonderful time at the beach but don't forget your sunscreen! You're welcome.

[mzdawn74]

Hi dawn...I am only on day 2 of cpap tx and while I am able to sleep with my nasal mask on, I still wake up a few times in night and wake up with slight headaches. I know it is a process, and will take time.

I think if you don't focus so much on what's working for others and just focus on your well being, you may not feel so overwhelmed. Often comparing your RX to others can be anxiety provoking because it seems things work for everyone else but you. And most times that's not the case. Even tho it feels like it. Anxiety is a horrible thing.

2weeks will go fast, and you can hopefully get good tx for your issues.

I agree exercise is good...no caffeine after lunch ...getting out of the house off this forum for a bit to clear your mind. Deep breathing exercises, where you close your eyes and deep breathe, feeling the parts of your body working to calm you.

When I go to bed I have a hard time falling asleep. So I put on a program on my iPad called noisli and it plays sound of nature that helps lull me to sleep and takes my mind off of the day's events. It's an app you can download. Might be something to help?

I wish you well and pray things look up for you soon! Hang in there and know people are out here rooting for you!

Thank you for the warm wishes and suggestions.

It's very hard to look at others successes, and not be frustrated with my own lack of progress. Especially when it seems there is nobody experiencing what I am and have recovered. It makes me question this whole cpap therapy, and it it's even going to help me.

Sorry to be so negative, but when all I see is continued deterioration that is the result. Good luck with your treatment.

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Please do not be disheartened. It took me 6 months or more before I slept well with the CPAP. It took me several years before I got my therapy straightened out and on the right track. Some of that several years was before finding this forum and accelerating my learning curve. Before that, I thought that the place to get information on this therapy was the respiratory therapists at my DME especially since the RT supervisor is a hose head. The biggest problem was that I could never get hold of any of them.

A lot of good advice here. Good meditation can always be helpful and physical activity as well. Does not have to be anything dramatic. Just do what you can. Finding an activity that gets your mind fully focused on the activity could be helpful as well.

Hang in there. We are all rooting for you.

Best Regards,

PaytonA

Thank you for your support and kind words. I just feel so hopeless right now...

[mzdawn74]

Saldus Miegas,

I really want to say thank you for taking the time to write such a wonderful and supportive response to my post. I only hope that I can take your suggestions and apply them to my current situation. I am still feeling very hopeless and defeated right now. I have been fighting this for now the last 4 years, between the depression, anxiety, and now sleep apnea I am tired. I've spent the past 4 years fighting everyday, and it worked because I was still functioning. But, now with the intensity of these cognitive impairments I worry if this is it. Before I could pound out a detailed, focused, and coherent response to forum posts in a matter of minutes. Now it takes me 30 minutes or more to compose very basic responses. I'm feeling like I'm fighting a battle I will never win!

That's enough of me and my woes...

I can't thank you and the rest of the people on this forum enough for the compassion, concern, and care that you have all shown me. Please know that it has meant the world to me to have this support. I am sitting here in tears now because it just warms my heart that complete strangers took the time reach out to me, for that I am truly grateful.

[kaiasgram]

It's very hard to look at others successes, and not be frustrated with my own lack of progress. Especially when it seems there is nobody experiencing what I am and have recovered. It makes me question this whole cpap therapy, and it it's even going to help me.

Dawn, it's a huge mistake to assume that nobody is experiencing, or has experienced, what you're going through. You're looking at your situation through the lens of depression and exhaustion -- that lens creates a distortion so everything is looking skewed.

But here's the truth: Although none of us have the exact same circumstances as anyone else, many of us know intimately the experience of fear, confusion, exhaustion, uncertainty, loss of health and related losses, hopelessness and despair. Some perhaps not as deeply as you, and some perhaps deeper. You're reading some of the 'success' stories and concluding that those people must never have been where you are. Some have been there. I have.

And recovery does happen. It isn't always rapid recovery and sometimes it may not even be full recovery. But more often than not there is a way out of the darkness and to a better, healthier and more hopeful place. I hope you'll read and re-read some of the very thoughtful feedback you've received from people here. I know that you sincerely appreciate it, but more than that I encourage you to really take it in and consider that it might hold a lot of meaning and relevance to your situation.

I think most of us are not sharing the grizzly details of our stories from when we were at our lowest points because we want to offer you something more hopeful and promising than that. But because we're reaching out to you from a better place now does not mean that we didn't hang out in hell at some point(s) along the way.

You are doing something that not a lot of people can organize themselves to do when they're suffering as much as you are -- by that I mean the way you are continuing to 'talk' with people here, and researching all the strange new things there are to learn about CPAP like "chipmunk cheeks" and getting the doctor appointments on your calender. Like you said in your subject line, you're still struggling and you're still here. Because you are doing all these things and not sitting still we see you as someone who can make it out of the darkness. A lot of people are following your journey and supporting you -- people who know the journey more than they wish they did.

So keep talking and doing.

[kaiasgram]

Oh -- and one more thing -- you don't get to claim "lack of progress" when you've only had your machine a couple of weeks.