Hi there!
Sounds like doctors just doing their usual thing of not working together and recommending their own things!
You have disordered breathing, by the sound of it - do you have a full copy of your sleep study? That would be good to take a look at.
First off, I would say don't do the surgery. In the absence of seriously abnormal anatomy, it's nowhere near a guarantee of fixing any disordered breathing at night.
Secondly, if you're bruxing, I would look into getting something to at least protect your teeth at night from grinding (even if that's just a heat-and-mould-at-home style guard for now, because properly fitted bruxism guards are expensive, and PAP can often alleviate bruxism if it's related to sleep-disordered breathing).
Thirdly, sleep hygiene is definitely important, and if you have anxiety, then you might want to look into treatment for that. I would suggest that CBT (or similar programs) are usually a better plan than just long-term medication, but if you do need to go that route, something like an SSRI or SNRI would be a better option than a benzodiazepine or similar. Also, someone recently posted a link to an app:
https://mobile.va.gov/app/cbt-i-coach and this might be helpful with your anxiety.
But really, it sounds like you need to be looking at CPAP for now - which hopefully will reduce your hypops and leave you feeling rested (and hopefully less anxious, as apnea and disordered sleep can worsen anxiety too).
Welcome to the board, and let us know if you have that sleep study in full. You should be able to ask your doctor for it, too.